


Foul Mouths

by rhodrymavelyne



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:27:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4165836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhodrymavelyne/pseuds/rhodrymavelyne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sai has a foul mouth, but Sasuke can keep up, much to Kabuto's mortification. Here's another spin on Sasuke and Sai's first meeting in the Orochi-Cave, with much cursing in asterisks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foul Mouths

**Author's Note:**

> First person, from Kabuto's perspective. Even a dark medical ninja has standards!

Naruto-kun really tends to idealize Sasuke-kun. For that matter, Sakura-kun does the same thing. They think Sai is foul-mouthed, but he really isn’t any worse than Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun was quiet, reserved, and didn’t say much when he was on Team 7. At least, not when he was around Naruto-kun and Sakura-kun.

I’ll never forget the time he pulled me aside in the Forest of Death. His usual scowl was even more pronounced, as he looked at me.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed,” he growled.

I put on my most pleasant, bland expression in response. “Noticed what?” I asked. I’ve never been innocent, but I often try to come off as harmless, or easy to bully. Obtaining information is easier if I’m underestimated.

“The way you’re looking at Naruto,” he said, glaring at me. “You @#$%, you’ve been thinking *&%@ thoughts about him.”

Interesting. Uchiha Sasuke-kun had no idea I was Orochimaru-sama’s spy, sent to get information on *him*, however, he'd picked up on my growing interest in his cute little rival right away. I was also a bit taken aback that such a pretty boy had such a foul mouth.

This was the first time I heard it. It got a lot worse, when Sasuke-kun came to live with Orochimaru-sama and me.

“Where the @#$% have you been, Orochimaru?” Sasuke-kun would demand, as if he was a princess, only no princess would use such language. “Stop wasting time with the %^&* and train me.”

“Such language!” I didn’t realize how disgusting I found Sasuke-kun’s language, until that moment. Naruto-kun, for all his gross little habits, would never speak in such a fashion. It’s kind of funny, considering the kind of experiments I perform on dead bodies that I was disgusted by this, but even a dark ninja has standards. “How dare you speak in such a fashion to Orochimaru-sama?”

“Kabuto, calm down,” Orochimaru-sama would say, flashing an amused glance at both Sasuke-kun and myself. I got the impression he enjoyed watching us fight. “This is nothing.”

Indeed, it wasn’t. Foul as Sasuke-kun’s mouth was, it was absolutely nothing compared to how it got, when he had competition in the foul-mouthed department. Among other things.

Sasuke-kun could blab until he was blue in the face, about how he’d severed his former bonds, but I’d seen the way he looked at Naruto-kun. I also saw the way his eyes narrowed, before using his jitsu upon Sai. 

“I don’t have time to waste on this @##$,” he growled.

“Wait, you *&^,” Sai responded with a smile. “Naruto-kun has been looking for you. What on earth did a @#$% like you do to win the heart of a boy like him? Did you get him drunk, use genjitsu on him, and (*&^%@#?”

I really thought my ears were going to blister. Sai’s mouth was almost as foul as Sasuke-kun’s. Almost.

“&*%$@#, you &*%$,” Sasuke-kun said, his lower lip curling. “As if you could ever *&%$@# Naruto. You don’t have a chance.”

“At least, I *&%#,” Sai said. His smile didn’t falter. “Unlike certain $#%^.”

“#$%^~^, you @~@^^,” Sasuke-kun said, as his scowl increased. “You couldn’t #$^^, if you tried.”

My ears blister from this day forth. My image of Sasuke-kun has never been the same.


End file.
